Year 19 Reorganization

IV Shomu 27

Brace yourselves, I’m going to be talking about my feelings ;)

I want to start by first saying that those of you who read this blog and aren’t members of the House of Netjer Kemetic Orthodox temple will not know what I’m talking about so I’m going to take a moment to explain.

Essentially, what’s happening in the upcoming Kemetic year is that the temple is undergoing a reorganization of sorts. Last night, each member was sent a letter via mailing list explaining the, not necessarily new, but stricter expectations of the House’s members at various levels. Needless to say, many of it’s membership may not be there in a few weeks time.

Let me make it clear right off the bat that I think this reorganization is a good direction to be heading in for the House. Had this been the direction all along, perhaps my feelings right now wouldn’t be so overwhelming and conflicting. I, for one, do not plan on going anywhere… but that still doesn’t make this any easier.

My initial reaction to Hemet’s letter was upset and fear. Fear that the temple I have come to regard as my spiritual “home” may no longer be there for me. Fear that I may not have a say in losing something I have come to love.

We were all asked to write individual letters to Hemet. Letters explaining why we were there, what we were hoping to gain and what we were willing to contribute to the community. Those members who fell into certain categories as far as their original reasons for joining, were encouraged to utilize other resources. Namely the KIN.

It didn’t help any that this news came late at night where I live. It was nearly 11pm already when I received Hemet’s letter. I was just getting into the shower and my husband was already in bed as he wakes at 4am for work. I was left to stew with no one to talk to basically. From what I hear, other members aren’t taking the news much better than I am and I’m unsure how many of them have already made their decisions.

I experienced a moment of panic as well. “Where am I going to find another temple?” “Where else am I going to find a learning and community environment with the structure, direction and vision I want and need?”

My emotions turned from fear to anger after a few hours. One member said to me “you could always stay on as a Remetj (a “friend” of the faith) if you’re uncomfortable with the new expectations.” Well, that’s true, I could. However:

1) I have earned my place in this temple. I took the classes, I believe in everything this temple has done and is doing, I underwent the rites, I took the vows, I am active in the community… I deserve to stay on as a Shemsu!

I am not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination and I haven’t always maintained perfect ma’at, there are some things that I will need to change. This would be the case even if the expectations of us, as Shemsu, stayed the same and it is something I continually struggle with and work on in my personal life.

2) In the event I am asked to leave, why on earth would I want to stay on as a “friend” to a faith that has essentially rejected me!?

Now to be fair, it wasn’t made clear as to whether or not our desire to stay on would be enough to be granted that privilege or if we would receive a “yes” or “no” answer to our letters on a case by case basis. As of this morning, I still have not received any response to my letter… but I wasn’t really expecting one so soon anyway.

Indifference has ultimately set in. My vows were to my gods… not to any individual or organization. All I can really do at this point is leave it in the hands of the gods.

I invite anyone who would like to discuss this reorganization further to speak with me about it if you feel you need or want to talk. You are welcome to leave comments here, e-mail me privately (S.Bolick2011@yahoo.com) or send me a message on Facebook (http://facebook.com/S.Bolick2011).

Senebty,

~ Zabet

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